Pride

Smallhausen has a lot of fear-anxiety in her. It’s something that we as her parents understand, because it’s a problem we have as well. The only difference is that we have more years of experience with it, so we can sort of work with/around it. For her, it still pushes her into total shutdown panic, and it takes a lot of gentle coaxing to get her past it. For example, the steps in the school swimming pool. It’s an above-ground pool, and the stairs are a bit wiggly. She didn’t like that. She got over it one year after a couple of tries… but the next year? She had to start from the beginning again.

Today, she beat another annual situation — going down her slide. Because she’s taller, she freaks out that it’s too high and refuses to go down. Z offered her a prize for trying yesterday, and she took her time, and did it today. And had a great time. And was freaking proud of herself for conquering a fear. When I tucked her into bed, I told her I was proud of her, and that she should be proud of herself (she is). I’m sure there are some who think that we’re being too giving, but I think it’s a lot better to build up my children than to tear them down. I can speak firsthand when I say tearing down makes a insecure child give the fuck up. *jazz hands*

At least that was one thing that went well today. Work was a bunch of dead ends, though I didn’t let myself get worked up about it. What was the point, yanno? Maybe I’ll find what I’m missing when I look at it with fresh eyes next week. Maybe D in the office will be able to spot it immediately; he’s been doing accounting stuff longer than I’ve been alive (or near enough to). I’m slowly getting more competent, but I’m still fairly new to doing them in our current accounting program. It’s coming along though, even if I do hit rough spots.

Anyhoos, curling up with my knitting and trying to cheerfully blag through. I messed something up on the first row of this section, but I can’t figure it out. I don’t want to figure it out; I managed to fudge it to the right number of stitches, so that’ll do for the second — as long as I can match the bulk of the pattern to what I’ve already laid down… well, fingers crossed for me, ha ha.

<3